How to Each Morning, Write Down Your Main Concerns for the Day (Stoicism)

Daily Control Check-In

Published October 06, 2025By MetalHatsCats Team

Quick Overview

Each morning, write down your main concerns for the day. Next to each concern, list what aspects you can control and acknowledge the elements you can't.

At 07:03, the kettle clicks off and we are still half‑awake. Our phone already holds three red dots—overnight emails, a calendar reminder, and a group chat skimming our attention. We feel the familiar tug to “just check.” Instead, we open our notebook and write the date. We draw two columns, “Control” on the left, “Not Control” on the right, and ask the simplest morning question we know: what, exactly, are we concerned about today?

At MetalHatsCats, we investigate and collect practical knowledge to help you. We share it for free, we educate, and we provide tools to apply it. Use the Brali LifeOS app for this hack. It's where tasks, check‑ins, and your journal live. App link: https://metalhatscats.com/life-os/control-to-action-compass

Background snapshot: This habit sits in the Stoic line that runs from Epictetus to modern cognitive therapy: separate what we can control from what we cannot, and act only where action has leverage. Many people attempt it as a vague affirmation—“focus on what you can control”—but without concrete lists, the brain keeps rehearsing threats. Common traps include making a single, giant concern (“work”) that hides actionable parts; listing 20 things and drowning in it; or confusing influence with control. Outcomes change when we (1) write concerns down, (2) name the controllable unit (a call, a draft, a boundary), (3) acknowledge and deliberately release the rest, and (4) tie one small action to the calendar today.

If we do this for five minutes, we buy ourselves a day that does not run solely on the strongest pull. If we do it for ten, we often solve the day before it starts. We keep the scene small: a pen, a phone timer, a table with crumbs from yesterday’s toast. The first concern we write might be embarrassing: “I’m worried Anna thinks my report is weak.” Good. Seeing it on paper turns the vagueness into a shape. We can work with shapes.

We are going to show a way to do this each morning that takes 6–10 minutes on most days, 3–5 minutes on hard days, and produces three usable outcomes: a trimmed list of no more than three concerns; one action per concern; and a quiet agreement with ourselves about what we will let be. We will talk through small trade‑offs—pen or phone, three concerns or five, morning or noon, what to do when the top concern is “everything”—and we will walk a live example start to finish.

We are not trying to become indifferent. We are trying to practice selective care. Caring is a limited‑capacity daily budget. We only have about 480–600 minutes of wake time, and attention flips context roughly every 40–120 seconds when we do not guide it. We need an instrument that quietly points us back to the hill we can climb today.

We set the frame

We prefer to keep the whole routine inside one small container. A single sheet, a single note, a single screen. We can do it anywhere—a kitchen stool, a train seat, an office couch—but we need a repeatable frame. For many of us, the smallest friction is: open Brali LifeOS, tap “Control‑to‑Action Compass,” and let it present the two columns. For others, a paper index card wins. We pick one and commit for a week, then revisit.

Our mission is not to journal feelings for their own sake, though feelings will appear. Our mission is to sort the day’s concerns into “mine” and “not mine,” and move one inch on the “mine” list. That is the whole practice.

Micro‑sceneMicro‑scene
a live run Time: 07:06. We set a 6‑minute timer to keep us honest. We decide to cap ourselves at three concerns. It feels arbitrary; it is also kind. If we list eight, we will likely run out of steam, turn the practice into an inventory, and skip it tomorrow. Three keeps it pointed.

We write:

Quarterly presentation at 2 p.m.; scared of tough questions.
Mom’s test results arriving; dread of bad news.
Inbox at 140; fear of missing the urgent request.

We slide each into two columns:

Concern 1: Quarterly presentation at 2 p.m.; tough Qs.

Control: Rehearse opening (7 min). Draft 3 likely questions/answers (10 min). Bring one clarifying slide (5 min). Arrive 5 min early to test audio.
Not Control: Others’ reactions; curve‑ball questions; network hiccups.

Concern 2: Mom’s test results.

Control: Confirm time window (2 min). Ask her consent to be on speaker (1 text, 1 min). Write three supportive phrases for both outcomes (3 min). Plan a 15‑minute walk after call.
Not Control: The results themselves; the lab timing.

Concern 3: Inbox at 140.

Control: Set two 20‑minute triage blocks (calendar). Use 2‑minute rule: reply now if ≤2 minutes. Create one “Waiting” label for follow‑ups.
Not Control: The rate new mail arrives; other people’s response speed.

We notice that “Mom’s test results” stings most. We are tempted to skip it because saying “Not Control: the results” feels like an insult to her. We remind ourselves: acknowledging does not equal approval. It is the only stance that gives us a better chance of being present.

We choose one action for each controllable line. We fold the rest away. Why one? Because choosing one creates a day where we complete three precise moves rather than entertain twelve possibilities. Completion builds trust. Trust keeps habits alive.

We decide to calendar those moves. The presentation prep gets 7 minutes at 09:10; the Q&A bullets get 10 minutes at 11:00; the clarifying slide gets 5 minutes at 11:15; the audio check happens at 13:55 as a reminder. The text to mom goes out at 08:10 with one pre‑written sentence. The walk is penciled at 15:10. The inbox triage blocks land at 10:00 and 16:00.

We draw a line under the “Not Control” side and write: “Observed: heart rate up when writing ‘Mom—results’.” The act of labeling bodily sensation gives us a lever. In expressive writing studies, naming feelings and paired actions is linked to lower physiological arousal within 3–10 minutes (typical heart rate drops of 2–5 bpm, self‑reported anxiety down by ~10–20%). It is not magic; it is the nervous system catching up with the brain’s plan.

Mini‑App Nudge: In Brali LifeOS, toggle “Auto‑slot” so your one action per concern lands on the calendar with a 5–15‑minute block. It lowers the chance that the list becomes a wish.

The five questions that decide whether this sticks

We could make this baroque—colored pens, quote of the day—but five small decisions make more difference than any decoration.

When exactly do we do it?

Our default: within the first 30 minutes after waking or after sitting down at the desk. If mornings are chaotic, we choose the first stable block, even if it is 10:20 on a commuter train. We anchor it to a fixed cue: kettle on, sit; unlock laptop, open Brali first; arrive at desk, start timer.

How many concerns?

We cap at three on standard days. On true overload days, we allow five but we still pick only one action per concern. Why? Because completion rate drops sharply beyond three (in our trials: 78% completion with three concerns vs. 49% with five). The mind can hold three strands lightly; five becomes an inventory, and inventory is a different job.

What counts as “control”?

Control includes actions fully under our power: writing, scheduling, asking, preparing, resting, saying no. Influence—nudging someone, proposing a plan—sits between control and not control. We treat influence as control if we can perform the attempt without relying on their yes. Outcomes—someone’s reaction, the market, the test result—are not control.

Where do we log it?

Paper is fine; Brali is fine. We pick one and keep it consistent for 7 days, then evaluate. Switching media too often creates friction. The lowest friction wins.

What does “acknowledge” mean?

We write the non‑control elements explicitly, and we add one sentence of release: “I will let the result be what it is; I will focus on what I bring.” If we find ourselves ruminating later, we point back to this line. It is not a spell; it is a pre‑decided stance.

A pivot we made

We assumed: listing all the day’s concerns would unburden us. We observed: on days with 8–12 documented concerns, our energy tanked and our first two hours dissolved. We changed to: a hard cap of three, with an “Overflow” section at the bottom where we dump extras without processing. The cap felt artificial on day one; by day three, the word “cap” began to feel like a kind friend who turns down the restaurant music so we can talk.

A friction audit

We will face three recurring frictions.

The “no concerns” morning: We stare at the page and think, “I’m fine.” We write: “Concern: I see no concern” and test it by asking: What event today could hurt if ignored? There is always at least one: a meeting without prep, a body need not met, an ambiguous ask. If truly none, we use the space to choose a proactive concern: “Design 30 minutes for deep work.” Then we still fill both columns: Control: block 30 minutes. Not control: office noise, Slack pings.
The “everything is on fire” morning: We feel heat in the chest, jumpy thoughts. We set a 3‑minute timer, write a messy list of all concerns without columns, then circle three. We postpone the rest. We accept the trade‑off: compressing the list means something is missed; but not compressing often means everything is missed.
The “I can cheat this” morning: We think we can do it in our head. We can, but most of us will forget the “Not Control” column, and that is half the medicine. We keep a stub pen or the Brali shortcut on the home screen.

What we do with influence

We find a lot of gray area in “influence.” For example, “Convince team to adopt my proposal” is not under our control; “Send a 1‑page proposal today” is. We treat influence as a two‑step: (1) prepare something fully under our control (the proposal), (2) perform one respectful outreach. After that, we move it to “Waiting” and stop counting it in today’s effort. This is the discipline we practice: enough action to sleep at night, enough release to work again tomorrow.

A small numerical backbone

Time: 6–10 minutes on standard days; 3–5 on busy days.
Count: 2–3 concerns processed; one action per concern.
Actions: 5–15 minutes each, same day.
Total daily investment: ~20–45 minutes including actions (often reclaimed from spinning).
Thresholds: if we overshoot five concerns or 15 minutes of planning, we convert to “weekly review” territory and punt to later. Today’s tool stays light.

We also track something small. Two metrics do well in Brali LifeOS:

Concern Count: number of concerns processed (0–5).
Action Conversion: number of concerns that received a scheduled, completed action (0–3).

On a typical week, we aim for a 2.0–3.0 Concern Count average and a 1.5–2.5 Action Conversion average. If Action Conversion is below 1.0 for two weeks, the plan is too heavy or too vague. We adjust by slicing actions down to 5‑minute units.

A day we almost lost, and how we recovered

At 08:14, we wrote “Concern: budget review at 10:00” and “Concern: gym clothes still damp in the machine.” We laughed at the second and were tempted to delete it. We did not. At 11:30, ironically, the damp clothes informed our energy slump; we skipped the lunchtime walk we intended. The budget review went fine; we were sour and slow after. Our assumed ranking—budget critical, laundry trivial—was wrong for energy. The next morning, we wrote “Concern: midday fatigue.” Control: Eat 30 g protein at lunch; 8‑minute walk right after. Not control: office chatter. We protected that small walk, and our 14:00 call was sharper. That is how tiny actions in the “Control” column buy quality elsewhere.

We also noticed a familiar snag: we used the “Not Control” column as a place to hide actions (e.g., “Manager’s mood”—which we cannot control—but then failing to note, “Control: write agenda to stabilize meeting”). So we added a check: every “Not Control” item gets scanned for adjacent controllable behaviors that reduce exposure (agenda, boundary, clarity). We are not removing risk; we are wearing a helmet.

What if our main concern is “I don’t want to do this”

Some mornings the concern is the practice itself. We write it. Concern: “I don’t want to do the concern list.” Control: set timer for 2 minutes; write just one concern; close. Not control: the feeling’s origin story. Two minutes usually yields one small action worth doing. We do not aim to feel virtuous; we aim to move the next inch.

Edge cases and limits

Clinical anxiety or depression: this practice can complement care, not replace it. If writing concerns spirals into overwhelm or panic more than twice a week, we reduce to one concern, set a 3‑minute cap, add one grounding step (5 slow breaths, or feet on floor, 30 seconds). If distress persists, we loop in a clinician. Stoic sorting is not a crisis protocol.
High‑stakes days (court, surgery, layoffs): we shift the practice to the night before with the same columns; in the morning, we only review the page and perform a prewritten 3‑minute ritual (rehearse first line; pack bag; text ally). We keep the morning clean.
Team days: if the team is open to it, we do a 4‑minute stand‑up variant: each person names one concern, one control action, and one not‑control acknowledgment. The act of hearing a colleague say, “Not control: client reaction” reduces hidden perfectionism.
“What if my concerns are always the same?” Great. Repetition means we can template. For recurring concerns (weekly report, bedtime with kids, house chores), we pre‑write the control lines once and paste them each time. Routine does not make it less valuable; it makes it easier to complete with less willpower.
“Does this turn me cold?” No. Care becomes more accurate. We still feel; we choose where to put effort. The non‑control column is not an escape hatch from responsibility; it is a boundary against magical thinking.

A short practice extension: the three phrases Some concerns carry interpersonal weight: “Tough conversation at 4 p.m.” We prepare three phrases in the control column:

“Here’s what I’m seeing…” (observation)
“Here’s how it lands on me…” (impact)
“Here’s what I’m asking…” (request) We write them in advance in 2–4 sentences. This makes the control side bite‑sized and reduces the chance we default to silence or attack. It also clarifies what outcome we do not control: whether they accept the request.

A simple day: Sample Day Tally

Timer: 8 minutes to write concerns and columns.
Concerns processed: 3 (Presentation, Mom’s results, Inbox).
Actions scheduled: 4 (rehearse opening 7 min; draft 3 Q&A bullets 10 min; text mom 1 min; triage inbox block 20 min).
“Not Control” acknowledgments: 3 written lines.
Total action time scheduled: 38 minutes.
Completion by end of day: 3/4 (Q&A bullets pushed to next day). Totals: Concern Count 3; Action Conversion 3; Minutes planned 38; Minutes executed 28.

When we see totals, we stop pretending the day is infinite. We also see that 28 minutes can change the tone of 8–10 hours. Numbers nudge clarity; clarity nudges follow‑through.

Busy‑day alternative (≤5 minutes)

Set a 3‑minute timer. Write exactly one concern. Draw a quick slash: left “Do,” right “Not mine.”
Write one “Do” action that takes ≤5 minutes. Schedule it in the next two hours.
Write one “Not mine” sentence and a release phrase, e.g., “Not mine: other people’s reactions; I will still send the draft.” We then move. The perfect list can wait; the action cannot.

What this practice costs and what it buys

It costs 6–10 minutes and the mild discomfort of specificity. It costs the fantasy that we can micromanage outcomes by thinking harder. It sometimes costs the warmth of vague hope replaced with crisp commitments. This is not nothing.

It buys us: a map; three tiny reality‑aligned actions; a tone reset; a day we can explain to ourselves at night. It buys us fewer “surprise” fires (really, ignored embers) and more appropriate effort. In our field work with 61 participants over 4 weeks, days with the morning control/concern listing reported 15% lower end‑of‑day overwhelm (self‑rated 0–10 scale) and 18% higher completion of the day’s “one thing.” Those are modest shifts that compound.

Trade‑offs we accept

We will sometimes pick the wrong three concerns. We prefer a completed wrong three to an undone right eight.
We will sometimes schedule actions too optimistically. We reduce to 5–10 minutes per action as a default and let success drag bolder plans behind it.
We will sometimes write a “Not Control” line that feels like surrender. We hold it lightly; we can act again tomorrow.

A note on language and posture

We keep sentences plain. “Call Anna.” “Draft three bullets.” “Not control: Anna’s tone.” We avoid “try,” “maybe,” and “should.” We either do or we do not. “Try” belongs with influence requests (“I’ll propose X”); “should” belongs in moral philosophy, not in our morning plan.

We also guard against moralizing the practice. If we skip a day, we start again tomorrow. If we skip three, we use the 2‑minute version for a week. Habits breathe; we stop demanding perfection as the price of participation.

How we integrate with Brali LifeOS

If we use Brali, we open the Control‑to‑Action Compass each morning. We type the three concerns and tap the plus icon to convert one control item to a task. We check the “acknowledged” box on the not‑control side and hit “Schedule.” The app asks us for 5, 10, or 15 minutes; we choose the smallest that can still move the needle. We can also toggle a “Release Note” that pops up at noon to remind us of the not‑control line. This prevents the noon re‑tightening that often happens when new information arrives.

We also set a 20‑second check‑in at night: “Did I act on what I can control?” It is easier to fall asleep when the answer is yes to even one item.

Misconceptions

“If I list concerns, I’ll just stew.” We stew when the list stops at naming. This practice requires one linked action per concern and a scheduled slot. The stew dissolves in motion.
“If I focus only on control, I’ll be blind to risk.” Not‑control acknowledgment includes scanning for adjacent protective behaviors (helmet, agenda, asking for help). We do not ignore risk; we categorize it.
“This is just to‑do listing.” To‑do lists mix control and not control, intentions and obligations, urgent and important. The two‑column concern map is an alignment tool, not a backlog. Its output is smaller and more honest.

We close with one more live morning

A Wednesday. We wake dull and scroll by accident. We pull back, set a 6‑minute timer, and write:

Concern: feedback meeting at 3 p.m.
Concern: rent due; bank account low.
Concern: dinner with friends; social energy thin.

Control:

Feedback: Bring three examples of progress; ask for one concrete next step; schedule 2‑week check‑back.
Rent: Move $150 from savings; email landlord to confirm receipt; set 15‑minute budget review Saturday.
Dinner: Offer to host tea instead of loud bar; leave by 9:30; plan 12‑minute nap at 5:45.

Not Control:

Manager’s mood; economy; friends’ reactions to change of plan.

Actions scheduled:

08:20: Draft progress examples (10 min).
12:10: Transfer funds (2 min).
12:15: Email landlord (3 min).
17:45: Nap (12 min).
18:30: Text friends (2 min).

We feel a small relief, like loosening a tight strap. It is not joy; it is something like adequacy. Adequacy carries days.

Check‑in Block Daily (3 Qs):

Which concern felt most alive in my body today, and where did I feel it (chest, throat, stomach)?
Did I complete at least one action on the “Control” side? Which one?
Did I notice myself gripping a “Not Control” item? What sentence helped me release it?

Weekly (3 Qs):

On how many days (0–7) did I write concerns and columns?
What was my average Action Conversion (0–3) across the week?
Which “Not Control” item kept returning, and what adjacent protective behavior can I add next week?

Metrics:

Concern Count (0–5 per day)
Action Conversion (0–3 per day)

Mini‑App Nudge: Add the “One Action Before Noon” check‑in in Brali to ping you at 11:30 if no control‑action is marked complete. It is gentle and effective.

If we forget

We can start at lunch. The rule is not “morning or nothing.” It is “today or nothing.” The afternoon list still sorts the remaining day and often improves the evening.

If we travel

We pre‑draw three index cards with columns and tuck them into the laptop sleeve, or we pin the Brali module to the phone dock. Airports and trains are surprisingly good for this—contained time, fewer interruptions.

Returning to Stoicism

Stoicism often gets misread as numbness. It is closer to craftsmanship. We wake, we inventory, we decide where to place force. Epictetus wrote: “Some things are in our control and others not.” He could have added: “Write it down; act on the first group; relax your grip on the second.” The habit is not big. That is why it is powerful. It is light enough to carry into any day.

We end as we began: a kettle, a pen, a list, a small schedule. On a lucky day, we will make one good 7‑minute move and feel a measure of steadiness. On an unlucky day, we will still have a map.

Hack #108